Movie hardman Jason Statham calmly strolls away from a scene of destruction
PARIS─It has been reported that Hollywood hard-man Jason Statham let rip into a so-called celebrity journalist, Dave Owen, at the recently concluded Paris Fashion Week.
According to reports, Owen, a celebrity blogger had walked up to Statham at the fashion show and started to utter some seemingly innocuous words of felicitations, saying that he and other members of the celebrity hacks fraternity had been rooting for him since his yet unconfirmed breakup with Huntington-Whiteley.
“Hey Jason,” Owen is reported to have called out to Statham like they were good mates, “Great to see you back together with Rosie.”
Statham, according to eye-witnesses, was, however, having none of it as he laid into Owen with verbal blows. “Who the fuck do you think you are,” screeched Statham, according to reports. “Oh great, you’re one of those idiots who’s been saying I’m not hot enough for Rosie, right? Writing about some fucking Splitsville and all that bullshit. What the fuck man, what the fuck? Is it because I’m a slap-head or you think I’m not tall enough, eh?
Owen, according to reports, couldn’t get a word in edge-wise as Statham, quite livid, continued the verbal onslaught. “You know what,” raged Statham, “I’m a hero, get that, you knob-head? I blow up cars and houses and other big things or small things, ok? I make the Expendables tick. I’m fast and I’m furious, like right now. I get the bad guys. I make the world a more violent place. And I’m ripped in places you couldn’t even imagine.”
The fashion venue is reported to have become still as everyone watched the unfolding scene with rapt attention. “And you know something, yeah,” continued Statham, “I’m beginning to work my way into some real serious movies. Did you see my last film? Fucking Hummingbird, did you see it? No, I guess you didn’t, you moron. Go and see Hummingbird, ok. I make great movies now, you get me, you insufferable envious git.”
“Now you need to fuck off back to your shit-face, fat-arse, diminutive, flatulent, sexless wife, you loser,” ranted Statham at Owen. “That’s who you’re sleeping with tonight you little piece of shit. Get some blue pills on your way home, you’re gonna need it.”
“But hey;” said Statham, according to reports, “You know who I’m boning tonight, ugh? Rosie Huntington-fucking-Whiteley. What a mouthful, that is. But yep! That’s right! I’m boning Rosie-HW tonight and there’s nothing, I mean, absolutely nothing you and your little, bullish, envious, gossipy mates can do about it. Now fuck off somewhere bitch and get a life.”
The reports concluded that Statham, thereafter, matched off in a huff, perhaps in search of Huntington-Whiteley, while the gobsmacked celeb hack slinked off into the settling Paris dusk.