The Horstrich

The weather icon on your iPhone is in cahoot with the Met Office.

Tomorrow is a satire on today, and shows its weakness.

-Edward Young

Reports

Browsing the "business" Category

Tee2

Trump Signs Historic Trade Deal With North Korea

                  The two nuclear blowhards celebrate their historic deal WASHINGTON—During his first trip abroad as president, Donald Trump is reported to have signed a historic trade deal with Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un—to export [...]

May 27, 2017 bonkers, business, government, politics
lidl perfume (1)

Girlfriend Puzzled By Boyfriend’s Christmas Gift Of Lidl Perfume

                                                ARCHIVE: December 25, 2013 LONDON─After excitedly unwrapping her Christmas gift from her boyfriend with trembling fingers [...]

December 28, 2015 business, celebrations, festivities, news, relationship
sports

Football Chairman Shamelessly Celebrates Success Of Manager He Will Sack Within Months

                  ARCHIVE: April 28, 2014 CLUELESS FOOTBALL CLUB, ENGLAND – A football club Chairman has reportedly been accused of a lack of class and decency after shamelessly celebrating the manager’s success in [...]

May 26, 2015 business, celebrations, football, news
mayweather

Floyd Mayweather Takes Break From Running To Ask Pacquiao Royal Baby’s Sex.

                  MGM GRAND, LAS VEGAS—Saying to his chasing assailant that he hadn’t had time to get an update on the second royal baby’s birth before their boxing match, Floyd ‘Slippery Money’ Mayweather [...]

May 3, 2015 business, celebrity, news, sports
shutterstock_165362585

Dad Finally Gets Lucky With Mum On Mother’s Day

                        ARCHIVE: March 30, 2014. SHOREDITCH, LONDON – After scheming for three months and getting no joy in bid to get laid, sources report that 52-year-old Dominic Merchant finally [...]

March 15, 2015 business, celebrations, news, technology
valentines

Romantic Man’s Valentine Gift To Girlfriend Is A 3D Model Of Himself

              ARCHIVE: February 14 2014 LONDON ─ After pondering what special gift to give his girlfriend for Valentine for several weeks to no avail, City Banker  Donald Smith stumbled upon his Eureka moment when, [...]

February 14, 2015 business, celebrations, festivities, news, technology
shutterstock_135050180 (2)

Man Goes To Sexy Female Neighbour For Joint Shower To Save On Utility Costs

ARCHIVE: JANUARY 7, 2014                           LONDON ─ Heeding the sage advice of First Utility energy company to share a bath with other people in order to save on [...]

November 19, 2014 business, news, politics, weather
aquafresh2

Ordinary Toothpaste Taking Itself Too Seriously

LONDON – Pissed off fans of High Definition TVs and other display units have reportedly told Aquafresh toothpaste that, “You’re just an ordinary toothpaste so don’t overreach yourself,” after the popular toothpaste released a supposedly new and improved version of [...]

April 9, 2014 business, health, lifestyle, news, technology
ghost horses (1)

Ghost Horses Descend On Liverpool For Grand National

AINTREE, LIVERPOOL — Ghosts of  horses that died trying to conquer the Grand National fences have reportedly converged on Aintree in Liverpool for the Crabbies 2014 Grand National. Sources confirmed that since the start of the annual Aintree festival on [...]

April 5, 2014 business, celebrations, festivities, news, sports
shutterstock_165362585

Dad Finally Gets Lucky With Mum On Mother’s Day

                    SHOREDITCH, LONDON – After scheming for three months and getting no joy in bid to get laid, sources report that 52-year-old Dominic Merchant finally got lucky with the mother of [...]

March 30, 2014 business, celebrations, news, technology