The Horstrich

Wicked!

Satire is a lesson, parody is a game.

-Vladimir Nabokov

Reports

Browsing the "business" Category

JONATHAN

‘If An Airplane Can Disappear, Why Not $20 Billion?’ – Asks President Jonathan Of Nigeria

ABUJA, Nigeria – While interviewing President Goodluck Jonathan on the allegedly missing $20 billion of oil revenue, sources report that State House correspondents were left baffled when the President responded that, “If something as large as an aeroplane can instantly [...]

March 21, 2014 business, news, politics
valentines

Romantic Man’s Valentine Gift To Girlfriend Is A 3D Model Of Himself

LONDON ─ After pondering what special gift to give his girlfriend for Valentine for several weeks to no avail, City Banker  Donald Smith stumbled upon his Eureka moment when, at rush hour commute, he read in the Metro a report [...]

February 14, 2014 business, celebrations, festivities, news, technology
baseball (1)

Kevin Pietersen To Bat For India

LONDON ─ After being unceremoniously booted out of the England Cricket Team, Kevin Pietersen, England’s enigmatic batsman, has changed nationality and will henceforth bat for India, according to reports. Sources said just a week on from his England career being [...]

February 13, 2014 business, celebrity, news, sports
DAVID MOYES4 (4)

Moyes Relegated To The Sofa Until Results Improve

  MANCHESTER, UK─After losing his seventh Premier League game of the season to leave the Champions lying in a ludicrous seventh position in the table, the Manchester United manager, David Moyes, has been relegated to sleep on the living room [...]

January 20, 2014 business, celebrity, news, sports
riot

Mark Duggan Lawful Killing Verdict: London Youths Shun Riots For Their Duvets

LONDON ─ In the wake of the controversial ‘lawful killing verdict’ of the unarmed north London ‘gang member’, Mark Duggan, by an officer of the Metropolitan Police, London youths unanimously voted to burrow deeper into their mattresses and pull the [...]

January 9, 2014 business, celebrity, news, politics, weather
bs_corner_cover_pic

London Mayor, Boris Johnson, Says Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, Is A Condom

                                                            Reactions     [...]

January 8, 2014 Bullshit Corner, business, celebrity, health, news
shutterstock_135050180 (2)

Man Goes To Sexy Female Neighbour For Joint Shower To Save On Utility Costs

LONDON ─ Heeding the sage advice of First Utility energy company to share a bath with other people in order to save on electricity and gas costs, middle-aged Camberwell man, Tony Windsor─wearing only a speedo and a mini towel draped [...]

January 7, 2014 business, news, politics, weather
bs_corner_cover_pic

Scientists Invent Device Called ‘No More Woof’ To Translate Dogs’ Thoughts

                                                                  Reactions   [...]

January 2, 2014 Bullshit Corner, business, commentary, news
DAVID CAMERON3

David Cameron Declares Parts Of Britain Without Power As Territories Of Nigeria

  After visiting parts of Britain that have been without power for about a week and finding the people of those areas in high spirit and good cheer, the British Prime Minister, David Cameron─while likening the great show of camaraderie [...]

December 29, 2013 business, news, politics, weather
lidl perfume (1)

Girlfriend Puzzled By Boyfriend’s Christmas Gift Of Lidl Perfume

LONDON─After excitedly unwrapping her Christmas gift from her boyfriend with trembling fingers and finding a 50ml bottle of Lidl discount supermarket’s own brand of perfume, Balham woman, Angela Watson’s smiling beatific face is reported to have slowly creased into a [...]

December 25, 2013 business, news