The Horstrich

Between God, Nature and the Met Office, someone's taking the piss.

Praise undeserved is satire in disguise.

-Alexander Pope

Reports

Browsing the "celebrations" Category

shutterstock_165362585

Dad Finally Gets Lucky With Mum On Mother’s Day

                    SHOREDITCH, LONDON – After scheming for three months and getting no joy in bid to get laid, sources report that 52-year-old Dominic Merchant finally got lucky with the mother of [...]

March 6, 2016 celebrations, lifestyle, news, relationship
leonardo dicaprio

About Fucking Time I Got My Hands On This Golden Dude – By Leonardo DiCaprio

                              Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Yeah! Yeah! About fucking time I got my hands on this golden guy. Wow! First I’d like [...]

February 28, 2016 celebrations, celebrity, commentary, film, news
dicaprio1

Leonardo Dicaprio Preferred To Eat His Speech To The Oscars Pizza

                      ARCHIVE: March 3, 2014. HOLLYWOOD – Saying to his fellow actors that after hearing Mathew McConaughey announced as winner of best actor at the 2014 Oscars Award, he felt [...]

February 25, 2016 celebrations, celebrity, film, news
valentines

Boyfriend’s Valentine Gift To Girlfriend Is A 3D Model Of Himself

                    LONDON ─ After pondering what special gift to give his girlfriend for Valentine for several weeks to no avail, City Banker  Donald Smith stumbled upon his Eureka moment when, at [...]

February 14, 2016 celebrations, lifestyle, news, relationship
lidl perfume (1)

Girlfriend Puzzled By Boyfriend’s Christmas Gift Of Lidl Perfume

                                                ARCHIVE: December 25, 2013 LONDON─After excitedly unwrapping her Christmas gift from her boyfriend with trembling fingers [...]

December 28, 2015 business, celebrations, festivities, news, relationship
maracana (2)

Fifa Honours Dead World Cup Construction Workers With Body Outlines In Stadiums

                    ARCHIVE: July 14′ 2014 RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL—As the FIFA 2014 World Cup juggernaut ground to a halt with Germany pipping Argentina to the trophy, FIFA reportedly paid tribute to [...]

May 28, 2015 celebrations, football, news, sports
sports

Football Chairman Shamelessly Celebrates Success Of Manager He Will Sack Within Months

                  ARCHIVE: April 28, 2014 CLUELESS FOOTBALL CLUB, ENGLAND – A football club Chairman has reportedly been accused of a lack of class and decency after shamelessly celebrating the manager’s success in [...]

May 26, 2015 business, celebrations, football, news
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Dad Finally Gets Lucky With Mum On Mother’s Day

                        ARCHIVE: March 30, 2014. SHOREDITCH, LONDON – After scheming for three months and getting no joy in bid to get laid, sources report that 52-year-old Dominic Merchant finally [...]

March 15, 2015 business, celebrations, news, technology
dicaprio1

Leonardo DiCaprio Preferred To Eat His Speech To The Oscars Pizza

                ARCHIVE: March 3, 2014. HOLLYWOOD – Saying to his fellow actors that after hearing Mathew McConaughey announced as winner of best actor at the 2014 Oscars Award, he felt a sudden violent [...]

February 22, 2015 celebrations, celebrity, film, food, news
valentines

Romantic Man’s Valentine Gift To Girlfriend Is A 3D Model Of Himself

              ARCHIVE: February 14 2014 LONDON ─ After pondering what special gift to give his girlfriend for Valentine for several weeks to no avail, City Banker  Donald Smith stumbled upon his Eureka moment when, [...]

February 14, 2015 business, celebrations, festivities, news, technology