The Horstrich

Sarin-contaminated rain: kiss loved ones before leaving home.

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Browsing the "celebrity" Category

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I’m Obsessed With Triangles ─ By Francois Hollande, French President

Alright folks I have a confession to make. I have a medical condition. Actually it’s no big deal. It’s some kind of neurosis but nothing to interfere with my duties as your president. I’m really just OCD about Triangles. I [...]

January 15, 2014 celebrity, commentary, health, news, politics
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Mark Duggan Lawful Killing Verdict: London Youths Shun Riots For Their Duvets

LONDON ─ In the wake of the controversial ‘lawful killing verdict’ of the unarmed north London ‘gang member’, Mark Duggan, by an officer of the Metropolitan Police, London youths unanimously voted to burrow deeper into their mattresses and pull the [...]

January 9, 2014 business, celebrity, news, politics, weather
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London Mayor, Boris Johnson, Says Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, Is A Condom

                                                            Reactions     [...]

January 8, 2014 Bullshit Corner, business, celebrity, health, news
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Nelson Mandela Punk’d By God

HEAVEN─After rising from the dead and travelling millions and millions of miles through the great unknown to get to Heaven, Nelson Mandela was staggered to find an all too familiar segregation sign, announcing ‘WHITES ONLY’, anchored to the Pearly Gates, [...]

December 28, 2013 celebrity, news, politics
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Brevity Is The Soul Of Business, Says Naomi Campbell

    PARIS─While strolling on the streets of Paris, Naomi Campbell managed to complete a business transaction in a single rapid-fire question and answer session that lasted the best part of five seconds, according to reports. Sources said Campbell, walking [...]

December 24, 2013 business, celebrity, news, politics
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Football Man’s Dream Of Knighthood In Ten Years Is Derailed By Poor Results

MANCHESTER, UK─After being handed the reins at a top English Premier League club, a football man wasted no time in dreaming about his knighthood being just a matter of time, according to reports. Sources said that by his calculations, the [...]

December 20, 2013 celebrity, news, sports
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Nelson Mandela Rises From The Dead─Claims Signer, Thamsanqa Jantjie

    SOUTH AFRICA─Five days after his burial, Nelson Mandela, former South African president and anti-apartheid activist, has risen from the dead, not dissimilar to Jesus Christ’s rise from the dead, according to the so-called schizophrenic signer, Thamsanqa Jantjie. “I [...]

December 20, 2013 celebrity, news, politics
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Oprah Winfrey Definitely To Blame For Golden Globe Snub Of ‘The Butler’, Say Cast And Crew

HOLLYWOOD─When asked how come ‘The Butler’ film has been shut out of the nominations for the 2014 Golden Globe Awards- after getting rave reviews from critics and doing well at the box office- the entire cast and crew of the [...]

December 18, 2013 celebrity, film, news
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Nigeria’s President Goodluck Jonathan Pays Tribute To Mandela Saying Another Great Man Is About To Emerge In Africa

ABUJA─Paying tribute to Nelson Mandela, the late freedom fighter and former president of South Africa, Nigeria’s President Goodluck Jonathan said one of the greatest men that ever lived has died and it is only right for the world to stop [...]

December 6, 2013 celebrity, news, politics
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British Olympian Tom Daley To Dive At Football Matches In Bid To Coax Gay Footballers To Come Out

  LONDON–The English Football Association have announced a deal with Olympic diver, Tom Daley, to dive from a 10 metre platform at all English and Premier League matches, in a bid to encourage gay footballers to come out. Daley, after [...]

December 6, 2013 celebrity, news, sports