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Browsing the "football" Category

arsenal fans

Arsenal Fans Most Likely To Suffer From Heart Attack, Study Finds

                      ARCHIVE: February 26, 2015 LONDON—According to a nine-year study by doctors at the London Chest Hospital, Arsenal supporters are more likely than any other football fans to die of [...]

August 9, 2015 football, health and safety, news, sports
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Man Waiting For Female Footballers To Swap Shirts Disappointed Yet Again

                    MITCHAM, LONDON—After the England versus Canada quarter final match at the Women’s World Cup, 26 year old football fan Michael Fulton is reported to have been left disappointed yet again, [...]

June 28, 2015 festivities, football, news, sports
BlatterMugabe1

Blatter And Mugabe Separated At Birth, Say Genealogists

            WORLD—A group of world renowned genealogists have reportedly released a list of DNA facts that proves beyond doubt that Sepp Blatter and Robert Mugabe were separated at birth. Both Blatter and Mugabe are slapheads [...]

June 1, 2015 election, football, government, news, politics, sports
maracana (2)

Fifa Honours Dead World Cup Construction Workers With Body Outlines In Stadiums

                    ARCHIVE: July 14′ 2014 RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL—As the FIFA 2014 World Cup juggernaut ground to a halt with Germany pipping Argentina to the trophy, FIFA reportedly paid tribute to [...]

May 28, 2015 celebrations, football, news, sports
sports

Football Chairman Shamelessly Celebrates Success Of Manager He Will Sack Within Months

                  ARCHIVE: April 28, 2014 CLUELESS FOOTBALL CLUB, ENGLAND – A football club Chairman has reportedly been accused of a lack of class and decency after shamelessly celebrating the manager’s success in [...]

May 26, 2015 business, celebrations, football, news
arsenal fans

Arsenal Fans Most Likely To Suffer From Heart Attack, Study Finds

                    LONDON—According to a nine-year study by doctors at the London Chest Hospital, Arsenal supporters are more likely than any other football fans to die of heart attack. “The findings of [...]

February 26, 2015 football, health, news, science, sports
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Arsenal Signs Two Players Ahead Of January Transfer Window

                            ARCHIVE: October 23, 2013 LONDON (Emirates Stadium)─Ahead of the 1st January 2014 opening of the mid-season transfer window, Arsenal FC are reported to have done some [...]

December 22, 2014 football, news, sports
ROONEY

Football Striker Who Only Plays Well In Manchester Is Named England Captain

ENGLAND—Prodigious England striker Wayne Rooney, who has scored one goal in three World Cup appearances, has reportedly been named the new England Captain by team manager Roy Hodgson. Sources report that the prolific international marksman, once described by Hodgson’s predecessor [...]

August 30, 2014 celebrity, football, news, sports
maracana (2)

Fifa Honours Dead World Cup Construction Workers With Body Outlines In Stadiums

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL—As the FIFA 2014 World Cup juggernaut ground to a halt with Germany pipping Argentina to the trophy, FIFA reportedly paid tribute to all the construction workers who sacrificed their lives so that the world may enjoy [...]

July 14, 2014 celebrations, football, news, sports
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Gamblers Hail Only Football Expert To Correctly Predict 1-7 Brazil Versus Germany Scoreline

  London—After emerging as the only Football Expert to enhance his reputation to legendary status by perfectly predicting the 1-7 scoreline obliteration of the Brazilian team by the German side in the World Cup semi-final match, the Racing Post Football [...]

July 9, 2014 football, news, sports