The Horstrich

Biblical Deluge: Move your toaster and iThings to higher ground.

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

-Ambrose Bierce


Browsing the "health and safety" Category


Mask or No Mask, Condom or No Condom, Says Boris Johnson

LONDON — After being asked for the umpteenth time about face masks for the general population, Prime Minister Boris Johnson is reported to have replied, “Look, you don’t ask me for advice on condom when you’re looking for some random [...]

May 4, 2020 government, health, health and safety, politics, science
arsenal fans

Arsenal Fans Most Likely To Suffer From Heart Attack, Study Finds

                      ARCHIVE: February 26, 2015 LONDON—According to a nine-year study by doctors at the London Chest Hospital, Arsenal supporters are more likely than any other football fans to die of [...]

August 9, 2015 football, health and safety, news, sports

Commuters Should Cuddle One Another To Survive The Cold Spell, Says National Medical Council.

                  BRITAIN—As the UK continues to shiver in the grip of an arctic blast, the National Medical Council has reportedly issued a health warning for commuters and other travellers to endeavour to [...]

January 23, 2015 health and safety, lifestyle, news, transport, weather
scoober1 (2)

Health & Safety Tip Of The Day: Wear Scuba Gear In The Bath

UNIVERSAL—People have been known to drown in less than one-inch of water. To prevent drowning when you fancy a bath, the Health and Safety Executive recommends that you wear a self-contained underwater breathing apparatus. The Horstrich has been keeping the [...]

October 9, 2014 health and safety, lifestyle, news

Health And Safety Tip Of The Day: Wear Kevlar For Protection

UNIVERSAL–To prevent bloodshed while using a can opener, the Health and Safety Executive advises that you should protect your fingers with Kevlar gloves.                 [...]

June 23, 2014 food, health and safety, news