The Horstrich

Scorcher! Bum-shorts day.

It is difficult not to write satire.



Browsing the "news" Category


Man Caught In Bed With Friend’s Wife Blames Pokémon Go

                        LONDON— After being caught red-handed by his best friend while pummelling his wife on their matrimonial bed, 28 year old Larry English told reporters that, “Pokémon Go’ made [...]

August 22, 2016 gaming, lifestyle, news, relationship, technology

Beyonce Fans Troll Gypsy Horse As Becky With The Good Hair

                    NEW YORK—Following the release of her new album, Lemonade, Beyonce fans have unleashed an online attack at an elegant Gypsy horse, after identifying her as the so-called “Becky with the [...]

April 29, 2016 animals, celebrity, music, news

Dad Finally Gets Lucky With Mum On Mother’s Day

                    SHOREDITCH, LONDON – After scheming for three months and getting no joy in bid to get laid, sources report that 52-year-old Dominic Merchant finally got lucky with the mother of [...]

March 6, 2016 celebrations, lifestyle, news, relationship
leonardo dicaprio

About Fucking Time I Got My Hands On This Golden Dude – By Leonardo DiCaprio

                              Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Yeah! Yeah! About fucking time I got my hands on this golden guy. Wow! First I’d like [...]

February 28, 2016 celebrations, celebrity, commentary, film, news

Leonardo Dicaprio Preferred To Eat His Speech To The Oscars Pizza

                      ARCHIVE: March 3, 2014. HOLLYWOOD – Saying to his fellow actors that after hearing Mathew McConaughey announced as winner of best actor at the 2014 Oscars Award, he felt [...]

February 25, 2016 celebrations, celebrity, film, news

Boyfriend’s Valentine Gift To Girlfriend Is A 3D Model Of Himself

                    LONDON ─ After pondering what special gift to give his girlfriend for Valentine for several weeks to no avail, City Banker  Donald Smith stumbled upon his Eureka moment when, at [...]

February 14, 2016 celebrations, lifestyle, news, relationship

Commuters Should Cuddle One Another To Survive The Cold Spell, Says Public Health England.

                    ARCHIVE: January 23, 2015. Updated: June 23, 2021 BRITAIN—As the UK continues to shiver in the grip of an arctic blast, Public Health England has reportedly issued a health warning [...]

January 21, 2016 health, news, weather

Cameron Declares Parts Of Britain Without Power As Territories Of Nigeria


December 28, 2015 government, news, politics, weather
lidl perfume (1)

Girlfriend Puzzled By Boyfriend’s Christmas Gift Of Lidl Perfume

                                                ARCHIVE: December 25, 2013 LONDON─After excitedly unwrapping her Christmas gift from her boyfriend with trembling fingers [...]

December 28, 2015 business, celebrations, festivities, news, relationship

Man Hibernating To Avoid Stars Wars Frenzy Wants To Come Out For Christmas

    GLASGOW, SCOTLAND—After departing civilised society for two weeks to seek refuge in a Scottish cave in order to escape the frenzy surrounding the film Star Wars: The Force Awakens, hungry and haggard-looking 28 year old Gary Benson is [...]

December 25, 2015 film, news