The Horstrich

Biblical Deluge: Move your toaster and iThings to higher ground.

It is difficult not to write satire.



Browsing the "science" Category

heinz 5 a day

Man Pretty Sure Pork Sausage No Longer One Of Five-A-Day

                          HACKNEY, LONDON—Following the news that bacon and sausage could cause cancer, 26-year-old Nathan Atkins, an all-things-processed-and-non-processed-meat-aficionado, finally came clean to reporters that he always had his doubt [...]

October 30, 2015 food, health, lifestyle, news, science

Pluto Spacecraft Probably Caught A Glimpse Of God Darting Off To Hide, Claims Nasa

                          WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amongst the plethora of images sent to earth by the Pluto probe, New Horizon, Nasa has reportedly discovered a batch of photos showing a time-lapse of [...]

July 17, 2015 education, news, science, space, technology

Hay Fever Woman Going To Relocate Every Summer From Next Summer

                    FULHAM, LONDON—After blowing her nose like a trumpet into a mucus-sodden tissue, 29-year-old pollen magnet Mary Elstree told reporters that she would surely relocate from the UK next summer to [...]

July 2, 2015 health, news, science, weather
arsenal fans

Arsenal Fans Most Likely To Suffer From Heart Attack, Study Finds

                    LONDON—According to a nine-year study by doctors at the London Chest Hospital, Arsenal supporters are more likely than any other football fans to die of heart attack. “The findings of [...]

February 26, 2015 football, health, news, science, sports

Stop This Banana, Balls And Bonkers Science ─ By King Kong

As a Hollywood veteran, after a hard day’s work in the Universal Studios or on location, I just want to return to my hotel suite and kick back with about a dozen fingers of banana. Ahh…bliss! So you can imagine [...]

February 6, 2014 bonkers, celebrity, commentary, film, food, health, news, science