The Horstrich


Satire is tragedy plus time.

- Lenny Bruce


Man Waiting For Female Footballers To Swap Shirts Disappointed Yet Again

June 28, 2015 festivities, football, news, sports












MITCHAM, LONDON—After the England versus Canada quarter final match at the Women’s World Cup, 26 year old football fan Michael Fulton is reported to have been left disappointed yet again, as none of the 22 outfield players whipped off their jersey tops and offered them as mementos to opposing players.

“At the final whistle of the match, Michael watched the proceedings with bated breath,” said Rory Williams, a neighbour of Fulton. “Sadly, the moment he was waiting for never materialised. No swapping of jerseys to display washboard tummies and other endowments. All he got was blubbering girls in red.”

“Michael has really kept faith with the Women’s World Cup,” said Ray Thompson, a good mate of Fulton. “Even during the working week, he’s staying up into the early hours of the morning waiting for that moment of whipping off of jerseys in a mass swap, just like the male footballers.”

According to reports, Fulton was having none of it, saying that, “I’m going to have to write Fifa about this. Why are women allowed to disregard a time-honoured tradition of football?  And they wonder why men don’t watch their game.”

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