Wicked!
Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.
-Ambrose Bierce
GLASGOW, SCOTLAND—After departing civilised society for two weeks to seek refuge in a Scottish cave in order to escape the frenzy surrounding the film Star Wars: The Force Awakens, hungry and haggard-looking 28 year old Gary Benson is [...]
ARCHIVE: March 3, 2015 BRITAIN—After the revelation that Mohammed Emwazi aka Jihadi John –the infamous Islamic State executioner—is a London-educated IT expatriate, the British public have, reportedly, been scratching [...]
HACKNEY, LONDON—Following the news that bacon and sausage could cause cancer, 26-year-old Nathan Atkins, an all-things-processed-and-non-processed-meat-aficionado, finally came clean to reporters that he always had his doubt [...]
INFLATABLE DINGHY BOUND FOR EUROPE—As 40 UK Councils pledged to provide sanctuary for Syrian refugees, sources report from inside a listing Europe-bound inflatable dinghy that refugees have vowed to reject [...]
ARCHIVE: February 26, 2015 LONDON—According to a nine-year study by doctors at the London Chest Hospital, Arsenal supporters are more likely than any other football fans to die of [...]
HERNE HILL, LONDON—Instead of continuing to initiate sex with his heavily rouged girlfriend by kissing her face and licking off a triple layer of makeup, 23-year old Jason Bedford reportedly [...]
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amongst the plethora of images sent to earth by the Pluto probe, New Horizon, Nasa has reportedly discovered a batch of photos showing a time-lapse of [...]
PICADILLY, LONDON—Following the publication of Harper Lee’s second book Go Set A Watchman, a rough sleeper who had camped outside Waterstones in Picadilly for 55 years has finally left [...]
FULHAM, LONDON—After blowing her nose like a trumpet into a mucus-sodden tissue, 29-year-old pollen magnet Mary Elstree told reporters that she would surely relocate from the UK next summer to [...]
MITCHAM, LONDON—After the England versus Canada quarter final match at the Women’s World Cup, 26 year old football fan Michael Fulton is reported to have been left disappointed yet again, [...]
